After living at Peaceful Paradise Condominium for 10 years and minding her own business, Darlys Dogooder decides that she hasn’t done enough volunteer work in her life and chooses to become a Board member. In fact, Darlys goes on to be a role model board member, devoting countless hours to her condominium, but today being Labor Day, she decides to take a day off to unwind.
Darlys gets up early and decides to take a swim. She gets to the pool and jumps in. Bob Boycott sees her jump in and screams at her that their signs read “No Diving.” To make matters worse, Bob wants the pool closed due to the Corona Virus and threatens Darlys with a tape measure, vowing to measure the distance between anyone who enters the pool and let Governor DeSantis know immediately if anyone gets closer than 6 feet from anyone else. Ironically, Bob isn’t wearing a mask.
Bob goes away eventually and Darlys finally gets some quiet. Until Rick Republican enters the pool. Rick asks Darlys if when the pool closes at 5:00 pm he can cover it with a huge Trump 2020 banner, and he’s going to make the condo next door pay for it. Darlys says no and now wants out of the pool.
The condo is in the middle of a new paint job. Darlys enters the lobby and Don Democrat approaches. He starts screaming that he heard the Board is allowing Rick Republican to cover the pool with a Trump 2020 banner and demands that he be allowed to cover the now bare walls with “Biden 2020” posters and that the paint job be halted until after the November 3rd election. Don Democrat of course also calls for Darlys’ impeachment.
Darlys races to the elevator hoping to just get back up to her unit in one piece. Of course Bill Bicep is already there. He wants to know why the dam gym isn’t open yet. Darlys explains all about safety and the government regulations, but Bill won’t hear any of it. He flexes and promises not to pay another dollar in assessments until he gets to go back in the gym. Darlys smiles and says she understands, afraid that Bill is about to break her in half.
The elevator opens. There stands Sandy Snake. She has a 10 foot long Cobra named Venom wrapped around her neck. Sandy tells Darlys that’s she’s aware of all the new emotional support animal laws and that Venom is here to stay. Sandy asks Darlys if she wants to put Venom around her neck, but Darlys declines.
Darlys finally gets back in her unit. The phone rings. Darlys thinks “should I get it?” Suppose it has to do with the condo? I need a day off! Darlys feels guilty and picks up the phone on the 4th ring. It’s her downstairs neighbor Tom Toughguy, head of the fining committee, complaining about a leak in the bathroom. Apparently, Darlys left her bathtub running before going to the pool. Tom threatens to fine her a million dollars.
At the end of the day, the one day that Darlys wanted to relax and forget about the troubles at Peaceful Paradise, Darlys finally opens the weekend mail. The association has sent out its first Notice of Annual Meeting asking again for Board volunteers. Darlys sets fire to the envelope and goes to sleep.
Dedicated to all of the Board Members who give it their all day after day.