It’s Labor Day and condo President Esa Nomyjob, has the day off from work. She gets to stay home from work and simply enjoy all the wonderful amenities her condo has to offer. It’s well deserved.
The day starts off though with a call from Willie Winer, that the upstairs neighbor has apparently let the bathtub overflow again, causing his ceiling to fall down again, and forcing Esa to get in touch with a plumbing company for an emergency repair. So much for a relaxing morning, but there’s still plenty of time to enjoy the day.
Esa grabs a towel and heads for the pool. Even though it’s a no-pet community, there’s a gigantic pit bull dog that unit owner Alla Boutme, claims is her new fluffy emotional support animal. Alla never filled out any forms requesting the dog of course. Despite the fact that the county doesn’t even allow pit bulls, Esa heard about the new court case that allows pit bulls to be considered fluffy emotional support animals. Rather than risk being mauled, Esa starts to head back upstairs. Bad move.
Ima Blowhard, unit owner, sees Esa and immediately starts screaming about the price of the laundry machines going up another 25 cents. Of course, in front of everyone else he accuses Esa of stealing the quarters from the machines. After all, how did she get that fancy new car. Esa denies going to the Cadillac dealership with rolls of quarters.
Esa is starting to think she was better off working today than having the day off. As a last ditch effort to relax, she grabs her Kindle and heads off to her balcony to simply read and listen to the sounds of nature and enjoy her picturesque view. That’s when next door neighbor Harda Hearing decides to do the same thing. Except, Harda likes hard rock music and brings her I-Pad and speakers out on her balcony, making the building shake. Esa has to politely remind Harda about the nuisance provisions in the governing documents. Harda starts screaming about the condo not being a prison.
Poor Esa. Her last mistake was grabbing her mail. There it was, an angry letter from yet another unit owner, Charlie Cheapskate, complaining about all the money the Board spent fixing the elevator. Charlie threatens to sue Esa personally because he lives on the first floor and doesn’t ride the stinking elevator.
Esa lays down in her bed looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow.
(Dedicated to all those Board members who work so hard throughout the year. Don’t stay home today – get as far away from the condo or HOA as possible)
